WHAT I FEAR

Hello wonderful people!^^ My name is Cristy Arnica and what I'm about to share will left you hanging because it will be so boringgg. No, just kidding(hehe). This is yet going to be the most exciting things you want to know about me. Yeah, you read the title correctly. These are the things I find most terrifying and intimidating in my life. No, you are wrong. I'm not afraid of insects or mice. These are in fact, a real talk. Keep reading...;D

      This is one of my greatest fear- accidental loss of the beloved ones. This is the terror that haunts me every single time my parents ever go out. I fear that all of a sudden, while I was enjoying myself eating Maggi, someone called to tell that my family was involved in an accident. Argghhh, that feelings. Perhaps this fear has ripened-up with time, coming across all those newspapers and news channels flooded with death news due to accidents. Perhaps this fear has developed due to all those accidental deaths of many known people. Deaths, as a result of accidents, shatter me to the core. Because it’s never the victim’s fault, and yet it costs him his life. I agree life is unpredictable, but perhaps I might never be ready to face such a situation. But then, having this fear, I’m becoming more closer to my family, and I tried and really enjoying every moment I spent with them because I know, at any moment, people you love will passes away and you wouldn’t even have the chance to say goodbye. So, I guess this is the beauty of having this kind of fear. You tend to appreciate people more.

      Another thing that I dread so much is not to be able to deliver to the expectations of my parents. What if I don't become as good as they want me to be or what if I ended not being so good in what I do than what I had expected from myself? It's scary sometimes. My parents are simple people who just want to see me doing my best, because they believe in me and my potential which I fail to understand at times. They have been supportive throughout without complaints and hesitation, ready to make things easier and better for me to be successful.  It scares me when they have been doing so much for me, they must be expecting something, which they don't mention but it's something that I can understood. And this is why I try never giving up on things or leaving things unfinished. When people who put in so much effort for you to be able to do well in life are with you, you get the courage from them to stand up after failure and fight back, no matter how hard it seems to be. I love my parents and I don’t want to break their hearts. That is the reason why I strive to be a better person than who I was yesterday and never limit myself from doing anything. This is what gets me through the tough phases and has taught me to stay calm and work in peace. I know I could make them proud of myself someday.

     Also, functional dependence, especially in old age. Functional dependence is the inability to perform daily activities. I fear that when I gotten way older, like 70 years from now, I cannot depend on myself anymore. I fear being bedridden. Basic activities, such as bathing, dressing, oral hygiene, feeding or helping an elderly person to move around or be transferred or positioned can be very stressful for the caregiver. I know this because we used to take care of my grandfather before he went to the afterlife. I don't want to put my family through the messy toileting. The impact of having someone in the family with functional dependence is massive. I can’t imagine to having someone to take care of me rather than me myself,and that’s what I fear.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune

     All in all, what we can do right now is...just face our fears. They are not the boss of us. Don't be so overthinking, don't get stressed out just because you fear something bad about to happen. This will not do us any good. You can't change anything by freaking out. Let's just do what we can do and God will do what we cannot do.
    Pheww...That's a preach. Stay tuned for the next entries, guys. Remember, be committed and be consistent in everything you do!